she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
