Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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