Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
