You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
