i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize