He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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