You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
