nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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