She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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