so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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