If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
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