You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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