the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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