Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
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Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Someone signed my nipple.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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