a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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