I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
