Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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