I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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