I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
