I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
