i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
