I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize
