found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
