I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Ladies don't puke and tell
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
