I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
