Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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