the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
he's single and there are thong briefs.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
