Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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