Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
