oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
