can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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