I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
