he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
