My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
They should really pass out barf bags in church
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
