Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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