my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
i came on her dog
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Randomize
