i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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