Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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