pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
