Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
