tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
