...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize