he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
