Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
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the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
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my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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