how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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