i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
