Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
