Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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