i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
