just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
