he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
should my penis look like a turkey
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
