You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
