yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
