Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
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And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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