He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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