well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
