His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize