At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
