just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize
