I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
