maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
