Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
