so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
