I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
