so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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