i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
