Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
