I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
