i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
