I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
