Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
